Hi friends,
I’m trying something new today. I’m sending this email using Substack and considering changing email providers. This is my first go at it so give me some grace! On to the show…
What is Church to You?
When I conducted an informal survey among non-church-going Facebook friends, words like “hate,” “Indoctrination” and “trauma” surfaced. I recognize these impressions and experiences as valid and affirm the lived experience of those I know.
It’s all too easy to assume that if something didn’t happen to you, then it must not be relevant or prevalent. It is the height of narcissism and privilege to take that position, but many church lovers do. I know I’ve done it before. But now I know better.
I know the most important thing I can do is listen and truly hear your stories, and believe you. Whatever experience you had in the past — something is telling you it wasn’t right, or it could be different, or there’s something better.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
As someone who has been studying church in the United States for the past couple of years, I can tell you there’s so much out there that most people don’t know about. What if church doesn’t have to be the thing you always thought it was? What if your faith doesn’t have to hang on tradition and doctrine that seems questionable to you?Give yourself the room to ask those questions — and any other questions you want!
Feel All the Feels
Church is rarely a neutral topic. People have feelings about it. You have feelings about it — probably mix emotions swirled with faces from the past, pinned with prayers and doubts, maybe studded with guilt or anger. There’s no getting around the idealism surrounding what the Church is supposed to be and the hypocrisy we often seen emanating from various pockets.
There is no denying the faults of the Church. And yet, something inside of you says “go” — even as COVID makes it hard. It’s not God that you’re angry or disillusioned with — it’s everyone else. But, you want a stronger spiritual life. You want your kids to have faith as a foundation. You try to shake off the desire to go back to church but it keeps coming back. It beats with your heart and whispers in your ear and at some point, you have to admit — it might be God. Is it? Something to think about.
On My Radar:
Watching: The Undoing
Listening: Why is Everyone Yelling? (Parenting podcast)
Worth Your Time Podcast
Episode: The Damage of Purity Culture
Episode: Single Moms and the Church
Verse of the Day
“…Soon a deep silence enveloped the crowd, and he addressed them in their own language, Aramaic…When they heard Him speaking in their own language, the silence was even greater.”
— Acts 21: 40b, Acts 22: 2
A word on this verse: I love this because Paul is speaking to people in their own language. Like, he learned it so he could share in their culture and they could really hear him. He did this frequently in other ways, as well. Sometimes, that’s what it takes. It’s not necessarily a foreign language, but there are church cultures out there that speak your personal, or cultural, language.
Don’t give up.
Love you,
Ericka
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Read my book: “Leaving Cloud 9: The True Story of a Life Resurrected From the Ashes of Poverty, Trauma and Mental Illness.”
Read me in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times and more here.