As Moms, We Can't Afford to Be Silent on Issues of Gender

Why its important to say it out loud.

Last night I was at book club in my neighborhood. It’s a mixed group in terms of politics and religion, but we do a good job touching on controversial issues with grace.

It got a *little* heated last night, however, when the topic of gender in schools came up. We have a new policy in our school system: If children want to be called by a different name than their legal one, parents must sign a form stating the name and agreeing to it.

At first, it seemed silly. I had to do this for my daughter’s teacher to call her “Abby” instead of “Abigail.” But, I knew exactly WHY this was happening and was totally okay with it.

Because there have been so many reports of students attempting to change their genders at public school — without parents knowing about it — our newly conservative school board is attempting to remedy that problem by ensuring parents KNOW if their kid is doing that.

To be fair, this has to include nicknames like my daughter’s, but it took me about five seconds to fill out the form.

Several women in the group rolled their eyes at this requirement and lamented that kids who feel “unsafe” at home will now be subject to potential harm from their “non-inclusive” parents.

Normally, I’m not one for arguing, but I couldn’t let this go. I couldn’t sit there and let this entire group — about 12 people — believe that everyone else thinks this way. So…I piped up.

“I’m totally fine with the name requirement thing,” I said. “It just means that parents will know if their kids are trying to change genders — and they should know that.”

Another woman in the group said, “But, you’re a ‘safe’ and loving parent — not everyone has that.”

I wasn’t sure exactly what she meant, but guessed I wasn’t the kind of “safe” she was thinking of.

“Yeah, if you’re kid wanted to change genders, you would support them because you love your kid,” said another.

WOAH. HOLD THE PHONE.

You know I couldn’t let that slide, because the most loving thing you can do for a child experience gender dysphoria (more commonly adolescent confusion and struggle), is help them accept who God made them to be as a male or female.

My heart was racing as I continued, simply because I hate to be “that person,” but I had no choice.

If no one feels they can speak up about this issue, then less vocal people who agree with me will get more and more quiet — believing they can’t. And we cannot be silenced on something this detrimental.

This is why it’s so important to make your voice heard on this important matters — so people know they are not alone and it’s okay to push back against harmful, cultural narratives.

“No, I wouldn’t support that, no way,” I responded. “I would work with them to help them love and accept themselves as the gender they were born as.”

One other person seconded my statement, saying, “I’m with Ericka on that.”

Most of the group remained quiet as three of us discussed, but it was telling. People don’t feel comfortable expressing their opinions on this.

I know people don’t want to get into controversial stuff at book club, but one nature of books is that they bring up debate-able points. A good conversation will include these things.

And I don’t harbor negative feelings towards the women who pushed back against me. I’m happy to be friends with them, so long as they respect my right to speak up too.

They were respectful and I don’t, by any means, think they labeled me negatively in the end. They know I’m a good mom with a strong faith that has a different opinion. Not everyone is like them, though.

Why am I telling you this story? I once saw my friend Kaeley (subscribe to her Substack!) say she sometimes wears her t-shirt that proclaims her believe in biological sex as reality…so other women can see they aren’t alone in their belief.

That stuck with me. As someone with a platform and the courage to speak out in the face of criticism, I want to be that voice as well. I know that many people are well-intentioned when it comes to this issue and I have the upmost compassion for those struggling with their mental health regarding gender. But, this is hurting so many people.

I think society — and the narrative powers that be, including doctors and psychologists willing to feed an illness with hormones and life-altering surgeries — are to blame in many ways. We fail those with this this struggle by affirming a delusion and not seeking the real care they need.

As a caveat, I do believe there are a small number of folks with genuine gender dysphoria that might be dealt with otherwise, but for the vast majority (400% growth in the UK alone), this is a devastating social contagion that we must do all we can to stop.

It’s a little scary even putting this little post out into the world. It likely won’t be read by that many people, but you never know with the Internet. That said, I’m not going to NOT post for fear of someone calling me names I lead with love and try to model Christ in all I do.

Speak with grace, love and truth and petition God for the wisdom and courage you need in navigating tough subjects.

That’s all I got for today.